本創作論述梳理自我摸索、創作、成長的生命經歷，透過創作、書寫與閱讀的過程，且在閱讀中又開啟新的創作發展，以此三者之間的交互關係，探討我對於家庭、宗教與自身的情感糾葛，及超脫獲得心靈平靜之道，並解析2016年到2020年就讀研究所時期的作品。藉由隱蔽、包覆性的作品形構具有私密性與安全感的空間，來述說我所嚮往的私密感與家庭的意象，並從作品形式中發現光的元素，結合自身創作理念與家庭情感生命經驗後，以「愛」為諧音，取「曖曖」作為論文主題，藉此描述情感曖昧的矛盾狀態。此詞出自古文「在涅貴不緇，曖曖內含光」，其原意為即使處在污濁的環境也不受污染，只求內在充實，將光芒內斂。在我創作之中，光是具有指標性的寓意，多數作品為光源在隱蔽空間的裝置，除了媒材之外，光源與環境亦是傳達創作意涵的軸心，在此我以「曖曖」形容自己透過創作找尋到的內在本質之光。

內容由五個章節構築，第一章「緒論」主要闡述本創作論述之研究目的、研究方法與研究範圍。第二章「溯源」，描述從大學階段開始的創作過程與媒材選用因素，透過創作漸漸了解自身。並藉由觀察自我與私密空間的關係，解析創作脈絡從平面到立體，再延伸至空間裝置的藝術形式發展過程。透過與創作相關文本，解析並且從中獲得創作的啟發與靈感。第三章「曖曖」，從創作理念、形式與媒材，分析作品中光的存在意義與形式演變過程，並解釋「曖曖之光」如何形構，亦從其他當代藝術家的創作形式、內容或媒材來作為借鏡，探討其與自身的創作關聯性。第四章「作品分析」，解析「百納的依賴」、「邃隧」與「光」系列的理念與形式，從材質選擇、創作過程到裝置方式逐一剖析。第五章 「結語」，對2016年到2020年就讀研究所期間的研究做回顧、省視與總結。

This work discusses the author’s experiences in self-exploration, creation, and growth. Through the process of creating, writing, reading, and the creative cycle beginning anew through reading, the interactive relationship between those three actions is used to explore the author’s charged emotions toward family, religion, and the self, as well as means to attain peace of mind through detachment; in addition, works from 2016 to 2020, during which the author attended graduate school, will be analyzed. The sense of privacy and the image of family that the author has longed for are described through private, secure spaces formed by works with an obscure, enveloping nature. An element of light which the author discovered in her works is combined with her own philosophy of creation as well as experiences of family life and the emotions associated with them. The Chinese character 暧 (ai) is a homophone of 愛 (ai), the Chinese word for love; the word 暧暧 is used as the theme of the dissertation to describe the contradictory state of emotions and ambiguity, originating from a sentence in an ancient Chinese text: zai nie gui bu zi, ai ai nei han guang—meaning it is a praiseworthy thing to be in a corrupt environment and yet remain untainted by it; those with ability and virtue should seek to shine within instead of without. Light has a significant meaning in the author’s works; most of those works are installations of light sources located in obscure spaces. In addition to the media, light sources and the environment are also central to conveying the meaning of the works. Here, the author uses 暧暧 to refer to the inner light she discovered through creation.

The dissertation consists of five chapters; "Introduction”, the first chapter, mainly elaborates upon the purpose, methods, and scope of the research. The second chapter, "Tracing the River to Its Source", describes the author’s creative process, which began in her days as an undergraduate; factors considered in the selection of media; and the gradual understanding of the self-gained through the process of creation. Via observation of the relationship between the self and private spaces, the author analyzes the creative train of thought from the two-dimensional to the three-dimensional, and then further extends the discussion into the development process of the installation art form. The chapter also expounds the inspiration and enlightenment gained from analyzing texts related to the creative process. The third chapter, "Ai-ai", analyzes the meaning of the presence of light as well as the evolution of its form in the author’s works from the aspects of form, media, and concept; how the “Light of Ai-ai” is constructed is also explained. In addition, the forms, media, and subject matter employed by other contemporary artists are also utilized as reference as part of an exploration into the relevance of the author’s own creation. The fourth chapter, "Analysis of Works", analyzes the concept and form utilized in Baina's Dependence, Distant Tunnel, and the Light series in detail, from the selection of materials to the creative process as well as the installation method. The fifth chapter, "Concluding Remarks," reviews, inspects, and summarizes the research conducted during the period of the author’s graduate studies from 2016 to 2020.

一、 中文書目

里昂．巴洛希恩（Leon Paroissien）編輯。《王德瑜》。台北市：財團法人當代藝術基金會，2003。

邱妙津。《鬼的狂歡》。台北市：聯合文學出版社，1991。

唐荷。《女性主義文學理論》。台北：楊智出版社，2003。

康雅筑。《織物地圖》。台北市：田園城市文化事業，2015。

黃麗娟。《當代纖維藝術探索 》。台北：藝術家出版社，1997。

黃文英。《標記的演繹：黃文英作品集》。台南縣官田鄉：黃文英，
2003。

曾芳玲、簡正怡。《當代藝術大觀24道線索》。高雄市：高雄美術館，
2016。

孫曉彤。《凝視的身影》。台北市：典藏藝術家庭，2016。

蔣勳。《孤獨六講》。台北：聯合文學出版社，2008。

劉滄龍著。〈閱讀尼采的理由—成為你自己〉。《查拉圖斯特拉如是
說》。新北市：大家出版。2014。2014。

顧燕翎主編。《女性主義理論與流派》。台北市：女書文化，1996。

二、 中文翻譯書

愛莉絲．史瓦澤（Alice Schwarzer）著，劉燕芬譯。《大性別》（Der
grosse Unterschied）。台北市：台灣商務印書館，2002。

黛博拉．安娜．盧普尼茲（Deborah Anna Luepnitz）著，易之新譯。《刺
蝟的愛情：親密關係與兩難困境》（Schopenhauer’s Porcupines）。台北
市：張老師文化事業，2005。

加斯東．巴舍拉（Gaston Bachelard）著，龔卓軍、王靜慧譯。《空間詩
學》（The Poetic of Space）。台北市：張老師文化事業，2003

露西．伊利格瑞（Luce Irigaray）著，屈雅君譯。《他者女人的窺鏡》
（Speculum of the Other Woman ）。鄭州：河南大學出版社，2016。

羅思瑪莉．佟恩（Rosemarie Tong）著，刁筱華譯。《女性主義思潮》
（Feminist Thought : A Comprehensive Introduction）。台北市：時報文化，
1996。

肯勒（S.Korner）著，蔡坤鴻譯。《康德》（Kant）。台北市：遠景出版事
業，1985。

維吉尼亞．吳爾芙（Virginia Woolf）著，宋偉航譯。《自己的房間》（A
Room of One's Own）。台北市：漫遊者文化出版：大雁文化發行，2017。

三、中文期刊文

蔡秀枝。〈克莉絲特娃對母子關係中「陰性」空間的看法〉。《中外文
學》，第21卷，第9期。1993。

謝鴻均。〈撥游於「陰性空間」的妊娠紀錄〉。《新竹師院學報》，18
期，2004。

四、 外文專書

Catherine Grenier(2012):《ANNETTE MESSAGER》.Paris.Flammarion,p.9.

五、網路資料

安．漢米爾頓（Ann Hamilton）主講。〈詞與線：漢米爾頓的空間裝
置〉。《中央美術學院美術館》。2016。
https://www.cafamuseum.org/exhibit/newsdetail/1984?fbclid=IwAR1q23l2UPO
TEreL5zuScMF76odEvL4oLWxzDAilso8DZIu_iWD9DUccc2M。2019.6.18瀏
覽。

紀大偉。〈邱妙津〈柏拉圖之髮〉〉。《文化部》。2015。
https://toolkit.culture.tw/literatureinfo_155_39.html。2018.12.9瀏覽。

解放週末。〈母愛有時候也是一種暴力〉。《壹讀》。2016。
https://read01.com/LkNzjx.html。2017.6.5瀏覽。

機核網。〈鹽田千春的「生與死」〉。《每日頭條》。2019。
https://kknews.cc/culture/k4ej6or.html。2020.1.5瀏覽。