這是一位連續歷經了人生二次生育子女之苦難的平凡基督徒，生命被破碎，產生了流動，最後轉化成為社區助人者的實踐故事。
從個人的原生家庭出發，隨著時間的軸線發展，不料卻在美滿的婚姻裏遭逢生育子女的美夢破碎，一是生死別離，一是生育殘障，陷入了生命的絕望幽谷，幸有那道光引導我走過黑暗，脫胎換骨地重生，在苦難中看見受苦的人感同身受，憐憫關懷之情油然而生，彼此扶持，相互連結，每當與受苦的人同在，如同與離世或殘障的孩子同在，逐漸形成自發性、無條件的助人行動；這是整個家庭的故事，也是一趟信、望、愛的朝聖之旅。
本篇論文旨在1.透過自我敘說來梳理自己的生命歷程，在過去與現在之間來回穿梭，重新覺察、消化、理解過去的生命苦痛，找回失落的珍珠，以新視框詮釋生命的困頓，讓自我得著滋養；2.透過敘說、對話、反思、鬆綁、解構與重構，探索助人使命實踐過程中之困境脈絡、適應模式與其他新的可能性；3.找到讓閱聽大眾容易理解的表達形式，藉由自己生命故事的分享與交流，傳達如何轉化面臨苦難的負面感受成為正向的適應力量，鼓舞受苦者的心。
隨著書寫與敘說的歷程，逐漸發現生命裏許多讓我感動的力量，有淚水，有歡樂，那是一個個閃亮的時刻，激勵我在困境仍勇往直前，堅持打完一場美好的仗；也透過助人歷程中的傷痛經驗，體會德蕾莎修女所說「成傷的愛」，雖愛至成傷，仍然堅定不移，永不放棄，真正的愛是無條件地付出代價的，是會有痛苦的，但也會有安慰、有盼望、有喜樂，我渴望擁有這樣忍耐、溫柔的愛，這樣的愛使我堅強站立，無所畏懼，勝過挑戰。

This is a story about a plain christian who experienced two hard times of giving birth to two children. His human shell has been crushed and thus his soul flowed out and was transformed. He ended up became a community helper.
I am the main character of this story. Starting from my family, I kept walking on the timeline, Contrary to my expectation, I had to face the suffering of procreating children with my wife. It made our dream broken though my marriage was blessed. One died years ago and the other was disable. During the process, I felt I was walking in a deep and shadowy valley of despair. Fortunately, the Light guided me walk out of the darkness and I was reborn thoroughly. In the suffering, I felt identified with others’ feelings when they faced the same situation . I began to sympathize other people who are in suffering and have concern for them.Whenever I saw the suffers, I immediately thought of my two children. The spontaneous and unconditional action of helping people gradually took shape. Helping and connecting with each other formed the whole story of my family. This is also the pilgrimage of faith, hope and love.
The main purpose of this thesis is: 1. to perceive,digest and comprehend the torments in the past through self-narrative so I can put things together in my life, and find the lost pearls which I treasured most in order to obtain the new nourishment and to examine the weary with the new view; 2.to search the details of difficulties, the patterns of adjustment and new possibilities during the process of the helping-mission practice by narrative, dialogues, consideration, release, disconstruction and reconstruction; 3.to find the proper expression that masses can easily go over by sharing my own story so to convey the ideas of transforming the negative feelings into positive power of adjustment, and the suffers’ hearts can be ncouraged.
In pace with the process of writing and narrative, I gradually realized that there were a great deal of powers which touched me so much. There were tears and smiles in each shining moment. I was inspired to press on in any difficult situations, because I need to perservere in finishing a glorious battle. Furthermore, with the heart-breaking experiences of helping people, I realized the words which Mother Teresa had said:” love until it hurts.” Although we often get hurts when we love somebody, we still have to hold on. Do not give up. True love is unconditional. When we give out our love unconditionally, sometimes you may pay the price and sometimes you may be painful, but there may also be consolation, hope and joy. I long for giving this love endurence and tenderness.This kind of love makes me stand firmly, I believe I will overcome many challenges without fear.

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